my sunday....

slept at 3.30am this morning....woke up at 6.30am
rather stoned...
Went to meet up with my poly-classmate at DBL O, first time there....i think the number of times i go clubbing, to keep count, all the fingers on both my hand is enough. But strangely, why do people don't believe me, when i said i'm not a chiongster??? Do i give out the impression that i am??? Anybody could enlighten me??? LOL

Rather surprised to see CZ, so much different from while he's in class...wahahahaha... But it was fun...meeting some new friends... but can't seems to remember any of the new fren's names... i have never been good with names...

Like the music there....Saturday is Retro Night... the place is pretty packed by 11pm.... didn't have much time to indugle in the atomsphere.... because, i still had another mission that night...

that was to keep my close friend, LL, of 10 years (both of us were kind of surprised) listening to some of her relationship problems...
she's kind of in a dilemma...Good or bad? I can't decide for her..
could only lend her my ears...And keep her company as she didn't want to go back home too early...

Strangely I asked myself, if I could treat another friend, as good as I treat her...
I can't answer that...At least I try to treat everybody around me with a sincere heart...
If anybody wanna puke after reading this...please go ahead....LOL

Been laze around the office...it one of those days..where there's totally nothing....Absolutely nothing to test...
but the freaking lab is so freaking cold......
i admit i was sleeping on the job the whole day....so what? Sue me....


Feeling so restless.... thinking of some silly stuff... confused over some silly stuffs too...
Hope LL get her things sorted out....
Can't bear to see my best friend in that sad state....

Finally....all is over...

As of yesterday....the semester has finally concluded...
what's left now is the trival task of waiting for the results to be annouced...
which i totally have no confidence in... hai...
if i do manage to clear this sem.... i swear i will buck up and do my best for the next sem...

Got my new toy a couple of days ago....
really loved it to hell...
here... take a look :P


Cool..ain't it? just like the 'zen' looks all Apple products have...


Everything attached...with my in-ear headphones...


See how thin it is....


the chrome back is really 'chio' too

----------------------------

Feeling kinda lost in the office today...
felt so tired.... don't think it the after-effect of waking up to catch the Man U vs Benfica match at 2.30am
now that i get to go back home everyday....it starting to become a hassle to think of what i can do when i get home.
And over the past two weeks... it's ball games after ball games....
i think my body is really felling the strain...
Gonna feel some good, cheap and effective ways to relax myself...
Thanks JL and KKK for the offer to go "uphill" but i don't have the leave nor the extra time, due to the commitment to the ball games i'm in...
Don't know when...with my bro, JL flying off soon....and KKK gonna be changing to the other shift....
I'm thinking if i CAN change to the same shift as he is...
don't wanna face the 'senior' every freaking day....if i can't change back...i think i rather opt for the normal mon-fri work week.
Gonna catch some sleep now, waking up to catch the Liverpool vs Chelsea match later....

What can i do??? Arghhhhh.....
Why can't life be simple....why am i always thinking so much stupid stuff....
pui....

Mid-Autumn....

Can you see how full the moon is??? No? Sorry, my h/p camera sucks...

Somehow looking at the full moon, make me sad...
it's supposed to be a night where people gather together....to enjoy the full moon
but i was sitting at the nearby basketball court, looking at xiao mei mei, playing badminton...
staring at the blank field beyond the court....

What am i doing here???

I don't know....

But i feel so relaxed, abiet those STUPID Mosquitoes kept kissing me...
ARGHhhhhhhhh

I know i can achieve more.....I want more too...
And i gonna let go of the past....
it's over....looking into my wallet, realised that i had never taken "her" photo out....
i'm so useless.....

Mid-Autumn is tomorrow...

Went down to the local Coffee Bean to get a Cuppa and look thru some examination notes...
dunno what is wrong with me, it just seems that i can study at home, even though there isn't any form of distraction to distract me...
i just can get myself to settle down and study :( hai.....

As i have to pass through the playground near my block before i can get to the coffee joint..
Lots of children and adults were there, having gathering, playing with sparkler (those firework thingy), kids were playing with candles and lighting them up one by one...running around with their lanterns, ranging from those candle-lilted kind to those super modern battery-operated kind....wahahahahaha

So fun....
if only my mid-autumn was as exciting as theirs...
i remember the first time i went to play-ground to play during the mid-autumn's eve, i ended up gashing my knee, with blood free-flowin, i got a earful from my mum....
the second year....the same thing happened...since then, i was barred from going to the playground...
kinda sad childhood....almost hated my mum for it, when i look out the kitchen window and see all the kids having fun...
i guess it was partial my own fault too...too eager to be running around and never look....

Mid-autumn eve also reminds me the first time i went to my ex-girlfriend house, where i was formally introduced to her parents for the first time... it really brings back a lot of memories...

Memories are sweet, yet they can be so painful too...

iPod Nano.....i want

I WANT a iPOD Nano!!!!
I want, I want!!!!!!
see this gal having it on the MRT today....it's so COOL!!!! 0_0

Didn'’t go to work today, because I have to accompany my mum to the Singapore General Hospital for a appointment. Apparently, she felt a small lump at her lower left cheek, and since she can'’t speak any English, I have to act as her interpreter.
She really worried about it.…keep thinking if it might be something more serious than it could really turn out to be…

Actually I hate going out with her though…but as a filial son that I am :P if I don't, who will??? My younger brother? If he'’s that dependable in the first place, I won'’t have to be here now.… Come to think of it, what is he doing now? Probably still lying in his sack. Lazy Ass!!
Back to my mum.… why do I hate hitting the street with her? I think it must be her tendencies to complain at the slightest matter that she encounter, whether it is or is not her business. Be it waiting at the counter or waiting for the lift? She can go, “blah blah, why is it taking so long? What is that receptionist doing? Why is she taking her own sweet time? etc etc….

Arghhh…. enough said!!!

I hate it, but she my mum… and I still love her...…
/me blushed…

Here's some pic i took at chinatown while i was there for lunch with my mum...


Hou Yi and the seven suns....i think
that's the theme for the Mid-Autumm Festival...i guess...


Pomole...is it spell this way???


Apparently this store's moon-cake is very good....the quene was Damn long...


and it ain't cheap either...a small box like this cost will set you back by 6 bucks!!!

Hmmm.....

Been a while since my last entry....
Busy over work and school projects...
Everything is like a whirlwind....spinning round and round....
Sleep is something i have not been getting enough off...

but some stuff i wanna say,
My condolences to JL....over the loss of his grandma...

Looks like i got myself in some sort of deep shit....how???
Have i been giving her mixed signals?? i don't know...
Guess i just take everything a step at a time...

Felt great after the 10 km run yesterday, felt so refreshed after the gruesome run...
Think i should be doing this more often...and it seems like my pair of lungs are still doing fine...

Couple of weeks more before everything related to school comes to an end...
Just have to pick myself up and endure all the way till the finishing line...

SNAG, Metrosexual, now Retrosexual???

What the hell do women want???
First, they want a guy who is not afraid of showing him emotions, someone who is in touch with the senstive side...
someone who is not afraid to cry...blah blah...
Won't that make him a wimp in front of the gal??? Strange right??

The world is changing is much.....i think the women probably don't even know what the hell do they want in a guy anymore, with the earning power and spending power they command...
While they expect to be up to par with any guy, but the still expect to be treated like a spolit brat....
Man!!!!

-----------------------

My poor brother.....i thought he had managed to escape the crutches of the B$%&*, but i was wrong...
thought that finally is able to move on and seek new pasture....but...
Why do people keep running around in circles....
Sad....to see him get so frustrated...
kept saying that he's a useless fool, who will be always waiting for her...
what's so good about her??
When i ask him what happened, he could still denied that nothing is going on, when his face has already betrayed all his thoughts....
Pity....Pls make him grow up....
If i can, so can he....
Please.....if there's a higher being out there....
Crap...i must be crazy saying all this....
wahahahhahaha...

this week...

hmmm...
been busy the while week over a Logic Design mini project...
And although the most difficult portion have been solved....but i can't help thinking if i had done the right thing by showing the whole class what i had done...
Or should i had just kept it to myself and just waited till the day i'm supposed to submit it to the lecturer, and just do it quietly?
Hmmm....seems like everybody is copying my design and ..... Pui....the feeling sucks....
Although it's more of like helping everyone in the class, but.... What if? What if i didn't bring it up? would the other "smarter" one do the same? Or will they also be like me....

hai.....

maybe i'm thinkin too much....
Helping people should be a good thing right? So why am i feeling not happy about it??

Is being selfish better?? or?

Chat with a colleague....

One afternoon, I was sitting beside one of my colleague surfing the internet, out of the blue, she asked me, "Brian, Do you have a girlfriend?" I was rather reluctant to answer her question, but i guess one have to let go of the past. I replied, "We broke up couple of months back." She seems surprised!

I was thinking, WTF i'm so ugly meh? Cannot have girlfriend har??? #$%&

And she contiuned asking, "How long have you been together?" I told her... hmmm, going 6 year plus ba! Now her eyes opened even bigger, a bit dumbfolded... Guess what she said? I thought my relationship was long leh....Wah, yours is even longer wor, so rare these days. I was ??!!?? WTFFFFF...cannot meh???

Anyway, she tried to probed further, why i broken up with her....blah blah blah. Anyway the bottom line is we broken up. Not due to personality incompatiablity, but some other reasons...

Seven year leh, isn't it a pity? You bear to give it up meh? Don't you miss her? Will you still wait for her to turn back?

What can i do if she doesn't want to come back? if 7 years of relationship is important to her, i really cannot figure up why she could just so convniently jump into another relationship...What CRAP!!!

Anyway i pleaded her, i cried for her, i was in a daze for her...for what? Worth it?
With nothing to look back at the only way is to look in front and leave everything behind. And when i mean everything...that would include memories....those are the killers that suck you into the never-ending loop of hoping she might come back to you.. Pui!

"You must let her go out to try mah, then she will know that you are the better one!" She commented. Then? I replied. So i must foolishly await her return har? Aint that STUPID???

...................................................

Well, turns out she's also just ended her five year long relationship a month ago. I was, "Oh!", the same guy in your photo album? yeah, she confirmed... I guess that the reason why i never wanted to go for a photo-shoot with my ex, even though she insisted.
"So what happened?" i ask. Personality-clash was her reply! What??? Only after five years together, then you discover that you guys aren't compatiable?? What rubbish!!! You guys are even living under the same roof. (She stayed at her b/f place). So where are you staying now? i enquired?? I'm still staying at his place.

O_o

"I just don't shared the same room with him anymore." she said.
Isn't it arkward seeing him around after what happened? I asked.
Oh, no lah, he will try to avoid me de....

After all this, i just felt that she is so DAMN childish...and what she said later really confirmed my thinking...

She said, you know how hard is for me(after the breakup)?
Nobody drive me to out to work anymore, i have to walk all the way out the dark alley every morning to take the company transport to work.
He used to "da pao" food for me, but now nobody buy food for me anymore... So many things i have to do myself! I was so dependent on him! And he just left me like this...It so hard...

WTF lah.. Wake up!!! Gal You are responsible for your own life...
If you want to be serve 24/7 by someone, better to get a maid....can serve you more dedicated!!!
Wake up to Reality! please


Gals are just so hard to please....

Random thoughts...

Just back from a gruesome basketball match....
We lost again...
Feel so down...
We couldn't defend as a team...
Neither could we attack as a unit...
there is no corrdination of any sort...
When i talking to my Chartered team-mate, when we were going back together.
I asked him, " How can we expect to win like this?"
Guess what his reply was??? "We are not playing to win in the first place."
I was like ?!!??!!?
If we weren't playing to win, so why bother to play anyway???
Isn't it a waste of time???

I think i'm obsessed with winning... I want to win in anything i play in...
Be it just a friendly match or a match against a lousy team...
I just want to WIN...
I hate that losing feeling....
Especially when the player from the oppsing team says to you, "Hey, good game!!"
I was like....WTF???? How could it be a good game when we lost to your team?
It wasn't as if it was a one-sided contest....but i feel that both sides were evenly matched...
I HATE THIS!!!! I want to start winning some games....
I feel that if we lost too much games, we might actually lose the desire to win anymore....

Now if only i can start applying this to my daily life and not just on playing basketball....
ARGHHhhhhh

Poor Me...

Looking at my bank A/c via internet banking just now....
:,(
Inside really pitiful....so empty....
Realised i spent a bomb on all sort of stuffs just this month...and with pay-day still more than a week away...
Looks like i have to start bring instant Milo and Gardenia bread to work liao... wahahaha

Took some pic of the stuff i got this month....
Heart pain when i look at my bank a/c, but feel so shiok.....when i see my new toys!!!


First, i got this ring at TianPo with Esther and Perene.....

Looks pretty neat!!! I must say....

The white version of this watch is finally back....and without any second thoughts,
i grabbed it the moment i saw it at West Mall....No need to wear the Swatch anymore,
No more memories....

My new Cell phone.... Possibly the most powerful 2G phone currently on the market....
And it MINE!!!! Wahahahahaha

Well, with me changing to a new mobile, you won't expect my younger brother to be lagging behind either..
But what surprised me was, he's willing to settle for such a simple phone after using a N7610...
Strange....

Finally....all my loot for the month....

Please don't envy me...i'm just a poor techie....

Good night...

Chelsea won the Community Shield!!!!

Just back form watching the Community Shield match between Chelsea and Arsenal...
Final score after 92mins....Chelsea won 2-1
Finally they had defeated Arsenal....after 20 years??? Can't remember...
But winning this contest....does it mean that they will also fall into the jinx???
The jinx, whereby the winner of the Shield will not be able to win the Premiership???
I think Chelsea can beat the odds and win all trophies there's to win this season, be it the Fa Cup or The Champions League...
Today have been a wonderful Sunday....
EVerything went well...
Looking forward to the week ahead...hopefully i can get my V3 soon...
And it's back to the school....

The 7th Month....

Today is the first day of the Chinese Ghost Month aka The 7th Month...
Everywhere people is burning incense and burning "paper money"....Wah....
I really wonder if all this "stuff" that they are burning really get to the intended person....

It seems like today is also the month for the Filipino's Fight Club....Why? You ask....
Well, both matches that i played in 2day, almost ended in fight....
In the first match, against a team called St Luica, they were last year champions....but halfway through the match they ended up playing catching up with us, maybe we were playing really well.... I guess playing catching up really frustrate some of the players, afterall they are the champs....not used to be being behind in score...
I also don't know what happen, out of a sudden in the second half....from a off the court incident, they started chasing one of our player and came wallopping.... If you were there, looking at how big size some of the filipinos are...
Man, the way they are throwing their fists... every punch was with full power!!!! Out to kill man!!!

I was like (o.O) ?!!!???, didn't knew what to do and just stood in the middle of the court... Was i supposed to go forward to help stop? Or?? Will i get wacked for nothing???
Anyway both team got suspend by the committee....how are they gonna decide the outcome.... i Don't know....
The result was tied at 62 - 62
Was one of the best match, i played....pity i couldn't finish the match....

The second match was played at the Salvation Army near Bt Timah there... That place was "WOW", a church with all it own facilities, a indoor court, a music school, a theologist school or something.... It's really impressive....
A fight almost broke up there too....but i guess they were more controlled.... in their place of worship i guess....so nothing major happened...

Thinking back to all this things that happen, does fighting solve problems??? Why does people also resort to fighting? Won't it make the situation worse??? I don't know, maybe wallopping the other party does bring some sort of satisfaction...but is it worth it???

Or Filipinos are just violent by nature???

hmmm....

How to pass my chin-up???? Ahhhh

Lousy week....Had three tests and i think i'm probably gonna flunk for all of them....
I'm like a complete blank when i look at the test papers... i think it's my own fault for not checking the school website, whether they had uploaded any past year papers... Hai...looks like i have toput in more effort and try extra hard for the year end exams...

3 more months till my birthday, which means i have to clear my IPPT for this work year....
Alas, i failed in my weakest station(as expected), the chin-up station... I need to do at least 6 chin-ups to pass, but i could only mustered 5 pitiful one...AHHHHH...
But as i least i managed to clear the rest of the static stations and the 2.4km run.... Been so long since i had ran a 2.4.... At Maju camp, i just have to clear only 3 rounds of 800m.... 1st round was fine...2nd round, the lungs still to get tighter...harder to catch my breath... 3rd round was the killer.... luckily with my own stopwatch, i manage to squeeze in a walk here and there...
Timing was 11:15.... Phew, what a relief!!!
Now i have to book for another slot and hopefully i can clear my chin-up...

Saturday....What are you people doing? Out with friends? or your loved one? For me, woke up with a splitting headache.... Accompanied my mum to NTUC to do some goceries shopping... No strength to do anything... gonna rest my tired body, 2 grueing basketball matches back to back tonight... Hope i don't get injured... (touchwood)

My boss had been expectionally nice these couple of months, which really frightens me... but i can't lay on my laurels, and screw something up, i think i got to be extra alert and don't screw anything up.
Haven't seen my senior for 2 weeks already, and tomorrow i'm going to the lab late in the afternoon, don't know what kind if sacaristic remarks she gonna make... She's really a nice person, if only she not so calculative in everthing... Hai!!!

Why do some people think that it's possible to be friends after a relationship? Well, i'm not one of those people for sure!!!!
To whom it may concern, thanks for your concern towards me, but i think you are just wasting your time and effort, cause everything is not the same anymore :) I really don't see the purpose of making all this small talk, asking me about how my life is, how's day was, or whether if i had any stories to share....
No.... i don't have anything to share with you... not anymore, yes, maybe we are friends, so.... went we were together, how do i treat my friends??? I think i don't need to elaborate more....if you are a smart person...
Like i said, you are wasting your time... won't it be better that you spend more time with your new b/f or friends??? Don't tell me you never expect things to be like this when you decided to embark on your new life? :)

Yes, i'm trying to forget you... Cause i loved you so much... So much more then i had realised... But like i said it all doesn't matter anymore.... Be happy and be content with your new life... Pls stay away from me... I'm just a dark spot in your other-wise wonderful life...

MST...

In another few days, mid-semester tests is going to start....
Taking a couple of days away from work to study....
Seriously i haven't done much.... don't know what to study.

So happy for my (younger) brother, seems like he's finally over the stupid gal whom he was head over heels for...
Let's hope it remains this way. She's just another b#$*h toying with his feelings. Really don't understand what took him so long to realised that. I guess the end of my own relationship, somehow shown him that he too can move on from being trap in this endless loop.
Fast-forward to now, it seems like he's surrounded with gals ever since his started his Engineering Course in NYP. Whether he's in his class, or in his swimming CCA.... I'm so envious... And it seems like he really closed with this particular gal in his class... From their conversations, seems like this gal pretty much have a good impression of my brother. But i think he's probably too numb-skulled to realise anything. Wahahahahaha

What's there to look forward too?

These few days i kept asking myself these really dumb questions...
What's am i doing? Why am i here? What purpose do i served?
It's like i'm in the Matrix...am i a real human being? or just another battery

What kind of difference can i make? In my own life and other people's lives?
So confused!!! I feel so aimless...
Like dropping into a bottomless pit, free falling deeper into the void.

Why am i doing this diploma course? What do i hope to achieve?
To earn more money? To go higher up the corporate ladder?
If it's to make more money, i'm sure there's probably faster ways to make money...
To find a better job? Maybe....

When i was attached, i know i have to upgrade myself...so that i can provide my loved one with at least a decent lifestyle
But now i'm all alone...
What the motivation to push myself?
Ask a friend this, her reply was, "That's easy mah, go get yourself a girlfriend lor"

Haha...easier said then done

I think i need to set some sort of goals for myself...but what? Any advice?

Who can give me some answers?

I should be busy revising my notes for the upcoming test, instead i'm wasting my time pondering over all this crap.

What's wrong with me today? Everything is in a blur...
Head feel so empty...i feel so down... must be one of those "lost my mind" day!

Been listening to this song on my ipod....
"No Ordinary Love" by Sade

I gave you all the love I got
I gave you more than I could give
I gave you love
I gave you all that I have inside
And you took my love
You took my love

Didn't I tell you
What I believe
Did somebody say that
A love like that won't last
Didn't I give you
All that I've got to give baby

I gave you all the love I got
I gave you more than I could give
I gave you love
I gave you all that I have inside
And you took my love
You took my love

I keep crying
I keep trying for you
There's nothing like you and I baby

This is no ordinary love
No ordinary love
This is no ordinary love
No ordinary love

When you came my way
You brightened every day
With your sweet smile

Didn't I tell you
What I believe
Did somebody say that
A love like that won't last
Didn't I give you
All that I've got to give baby

This is no ordinary love
No ordinary love
This is no ordinary love
No ordinary love

I keep crying
I keep trying for you
There's nothing like you and I baby

This is no ordinary love
No ordinary love
This is no ordinary love
No ordinary love

Keep trying for you
Keep crying for you
Keep flying for you
Keep flying I'm falling

I'm falling

Keep trying for you
Keep crying for you
Keep flying for you
Keep flying I'm falling
I'm falling

Chartered Challenge Basketball 2005

Chartered Challenge is a success!!! My team, erm...the team, Barako, that i played in came out top in the chartered challenge...Whoopie!!!!
After 6 hard fought matches...we were crowned CHAMPION!!!
Everything was great, we fought hard, stick to our game plans, played tough defence!!!
Haven't been enjoying such good games, even when i played in the BAS Div games...

We won all the matches, killed off the CSP team, Seven, that beated us last saturday... whacked them hard in the finals!!!
We aren't supposed to lose to them in the first place!!! Guess, we were too complacent.
The filliponoes in the team were great, just that they tend to lose their heads, and start doing silly things.
Good job, Arles, Noel, Marium, Zaldy, Abet and Philips!!! Three cheers to you guys!!!
Felt really good to be in the winning team...to lift the trophy, to have everybody cheering you on... although half the stadium is filled with people from CSP...
I guess that's what basketball is all about, that's the fuel that kept me going!!!!

I have done enough this year for the CSG team...the championship belongs to CSG this year. So i guess i will have to find another challenge next year with another team. :P Think i'm letting this win getting to my head...hahaha

Briused and battered all over... tomorrow it's the start of another new league of games....
the league whereby i can't swear....don't know how i'm going to deal with it.... but i'm not a swearing person, so it's not gonna be that tough...

Another wonderful week ahead i hope....

good night to everybody.....

Just back from lesson today...
Was a pretty lethargic day...didn't really have the 精神 to do anything...
guess i haven't been getting enough sleep for the past 4 days...

Mum shown me a newpaper article on how not getting enough sleep can be harmful to the body. I, too wish that i can have ample sleep every night, but it just can't be help! i guess...

Had two silly pratical test today...one is Micro-controller and the other is Logic design... think i should be able to get some good marks for both of them... Like i said, they are silly, so how hard can they be? :P

Today, someone msg me, asking this:
Hey, how are you? Life is good right? more meaningful than ever? how's ur days so far?

Hmm, if you get do check out my blog regularly, here's my reply to you :)

I'm very fine, thanks for your concern! Appreicate it very much...
Is Life good? I think so, but i'm not getting enough sleep as i just mentioned above. So is that consider good? Well, i don't.
A lot of things depend on how do you view them in life.
I'm just a simple person, so as long i got enough vitamin M, enough sleep and my basketball...i think i'm more or less i'm contented...
How's my days so far? I'm gonna be busy lor!!! Dreadful examinations coming up soon, lots of basketball matches to be played...
So many things, but so little time...and my IPPT also coming soon...NO TIME TO TRAIN!!!

So is my life meaningful? Seriously i don't know... Still looking for somebody whom i can share my joys with... that person can don't share my sorrows lah, i can handle them myself. LOL But it seems like that person is still far far away from me, so she so near me that i never noticed her???

Weird thoughts.....


Hope tomorrow is a sunny day....going to Safra Yishun to swim and work on my tan!!!

Good night, and thanks for reading....

Hmmm...been so busy these days....
First, with the Chartered Challenge going on now... Lost one if the three matches which we were supposed to have won!
Everybody was expecting us to come up tops for our group...

Murphy's law i guess....
Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong....Hahahaha

But this Sat's final will be an exciting one!!! So anybody interested to catch some exciting basketball matches, please drop by at Chua Chu Kang Indoor Stadium!!! Lots of actions!!!!

Got pulled into another basketball league game...this time is a church open league, will be playing at Novena area...
Guess what? First thing i was told, that if i'm playing in a game, i'm not supposed to swear!!! OMG!!! No more "damn" or "shit"
Wah lau... but as Toine said, this league is a notch higher then the current CCK league i'm playing in. Looking forward to playing better players and improving myself both in my skills and mentally awareness....
Just pray very hard that i will not get injured...

Just back from practice with my new team-mates at NIE/SMU....aching all over, been so long since i had a massage.
I miss those nights when 'she' will massage for me, whenever she stayed over... Haha... Nevermind, can also go to a proper spa for a good swedish massage...