How do you define "Kakis"

So much for being in the "gang"
maybe i'm over sensitive... but i feel so bitter after being betrayed... by people whom i regards as good friends... or good colleagues...
who can you trust these days??
Why do i say so???

A certain PE in the so-called lunch kaki group was promoted to senior PE... honestly i'm really happy for him!! after seeing him work and work... finally all is justified. So he suggested a informal treat to all of the "lunch kakis"gang. Which naturally is good news!!! a free lunch...to celebrate! Yay...
But before i ask anything about...THOSE closer kakis (should i mention names??) has already ask and waited for him to give a promotion treat, just waiting for a suitable date.

So on tuesday (1 Aug 2006), a certain female senior started to help the new senior PE make plans...she decided that japanese food would be the best choice. So she happily asked me if i could help her find out whether any resturant does delivery... which beside Saskae Sushi, they rest doesn't. So while helping her to find more info, she was writing out who will be included for the treat. Well, i hope i wasn't sleeping, but i did saw her include my name in the list.
So after all the searching, the PE decided that it too troublsome to wait for the delivery, why don't we head on to the japanese resturant at Causeway Point? Save all the hassle...
That's would be a great idea, expect for the transport... Is there enough seats?? So who's gonna drive??? At that point, the topic kinda died down at tea-break...

The next day (2 Aug 2006) happily knowing that there will be a treat at lunch time... i saw the senior PE and ask him, "so what time are we heading out for makan??" He shook his head. My first thought was, "he's must be busy lah, beside he don't bother about all this transport stuff."
So i left him alone and went to look for the (so-called organizer) female senior, "So how are we heading out today?" Her reply, "I also don't know, tired of asking the them liao lah, you go ask them yourself." I was like.... Okay, cranky weather again... So i thought probably i should just wait till the usual 11.30 odd plus then i go look for them, or i'm just a phone call away if they wanted to find me...

11.30 odd, left the new cleanroom lab, went to the old lab to look for them, nobody was around...
the female senior wasn't around, the tall senior techinican wasn't around too... Sat at in the lab waiting, i was thinking maybe they would call me. 10mins later, the new senior PE came in, saw me and ask me about the both of them. i replied, "Haven't seen them since 11.30 liao." He nodded and left... After another good 10 mins, i wander to the cube area to look away. Just as expected, the other engineer in the senior PE's group is gone too...

I felt so let-down...by these so called friends/kakis...
i'm not sore about not having the treat...
But if they didn't wanna include me in the list, they could have told me..
make up an excuse or something... don't just disappear like this...
i can give up my seat to somebody else... NO PROBLEM

Really makes me wonder who and where are my real friends.

Terrible night...

Everything that happened tonight was TERRIBLE...
I skip school, cause i didn't feel like going...
I'm sure i pissed her off...
I'm currently having a terrible whirling feeling in my tummy...
I'm having a bad headache...and i don't know why....
My head is feeling so heavy and confused...

It's bad...all bad...F&%king bad....
I just wish i had a chance to better express what i wanted...
but i don't know either...

I feel terrible :(
I hope this bad stomachache goes away soon...