this week...

hmmm...
been busy the while week over a Logic Design mini project...
And although the most difficult portion have been solved....but i can't help thinking if i had done the right thing by showing the whole class what i had done...
Or should i had just kept it to myself and just waited till the day i'm supposed to submit it to the lecturer, and just do it quietly?
Hmmm....seems like everybody is copying my design and ..... Pui....the feeling sucks....
Although it's more of like helping everyone in the class, but.... What if? What if i didn't bring it up? would the other "smarter" one do the same? Or will they also be like me....

hai.....

maybe i'm thinkin too much....
Helping people should be a good thing right? So why am i feeling not happy about it??

Is being selfish better?? or?

Chat with a colleague....

One afternoon, I was sitting beside one of my colleague surfing the internet, out of the blue, she asked me, "Brian, Do you have a girlfriend?" I was rather reluctant to answer her question, but i guess one have to let go of the past. I replied, "We broke up couple of months back." She seems surprised!

I was thinking, WTF i'm so ugly meh? Cannot have girlfriend har??? #$%&

And she contiuned asking, "How long have you been together?" I told her... hmmm, going 6 year plus ba! Now her eyes opened even bigger, a bit dumbfolded... Guess what she said? I thought my relationship was long leh....Wah, yours is even longer wor, so rare these days. I was ??!!?? WTFFFFF...cannot meh???

Anyway, she tried to probed further, why i broken up with her....blah blah blah. Anyway the bottom line is we broken up. Not due to personality incompatiablity, but some other reasons...

Seven year leh, isn't it a pity? You bear to give it up meh? Don't you miss her? Will you still wait for her to turn back?

What can i do if she doesn't want to come back? if 7 years of relationship is important to her, i really cannot figure up why she could just so convniently jump into another relationship...What CRAP!!!

Anyway i pleaded her, i cried for her, i was in a daze for her...for what? Worth it?
With nothing to look back at the only way is to look in front and leave everything behind. And when i mean everything...that would include memories....those are the killers that suck you into the never-ending loop of hoping she might come back to you.. Pui!

"You must let her go out to try mah, then she will know that you are the better one!" She commented. Then? I replied. So i must foolishly await her return har? Aint that STUPID???

...................................................

Well, turns out she's also just ended her five year long relationship a month ago. I was, "Oh!", the same guy in your photo album? yeah, she confirmed... I guess that the reason why i never wanted to go for a photo-shoot with my ex, even though she insisted.
"So what happened?" i ask. Personality-clash was her reply! What??? Only after five years together, then you discover that you guys aren't compatiable?? What rubbish!!! You guys are even living under the same roof. (She stayed at her b/f place). So where are you staying now? i enquired?? I'm still staying at his place.

O_o

"I just don't shared the same room with him anymore." she said.
Isn't it arkward seeing him around after what happened? I asked.
Oh, no lah, he will try to avoid me de....

After all this, i just felt that she is so DAMN childish...and what she said later really confirmed my thinking...

She said, you know how hard is for me(after the breakup)?
Nobody drive me to out to work anymore, i have to walk all the way out the dark alley every morning to take the company transport to work.
He used to "da pao" food for me, but now nobody buy food for me anymore... So many things i have to do myself! I was so dependent on him! And he just left me like this...It so hard...

WTF lah.. Wake up!!! Gal You are responsible for your own life...
If you want to be serve 24/7 by someone, better to get a maid....can serve you more dedicated!!!
Wake up to Reality! please


Gals are just so hard to please....

Random thoughts...

Just back from a gruesome basketball match....
We lost again...
Feel so down...
We couldn't defend as a team...
Neither could we attack as a unit...
there is no corrdination of any sort...
When i talking to my Chartered team-mate, when we were going back together.
I asked him, " How can we expect to win like this?"
Guess what his reply was??? "We are not playing to win in the first place."
I was like ?!!??!!?
If we weren't playing to win, so why bother to play anyway???
Isn't it a waste of time???

I think i'm obsessed with winning... I want to win in anything i play in...
Be it just a friendly match or a match against a lousy team...
I just want to WIN...
I hate that losing feeling....
Especially when the player from the oppsing team says to you, "Hey, good game!!"
I was like....WTF???? How could it be a good game when we lost to your team?
It wasn't as if it was a one-sided contest....but i feel that both sides were evenly matched...
I HATE THIS!!!! I want to start winning some games....
I feel that if we lost too much games, we might actually lose the desire to win anymore....

Now if only i can start applying this to my daily life and not just on playing basketball....
ARGHHhhhhh