Sometimes I wonder if I should have keep mum about my failed relationship. Yeah, I feel better with people around u, encouraging u, tellin u 2 move on, feel good about yourself...blah blah...etc

But why do I get e feeling tat i'm being joked abt? Am I petty? Or just thinking too much?

Why do people always try 2 link me up with stuff tat doesn't concerns me?
Yeah..."I'm single, but i'm nt tat desperate 2 get settle with just any gal!"

Example, new gal join my department. So? Seriously I don't really care if she's 18 or 35. Whether she's single or attached? This and that! "I DON'T CARE!!"

So what if she's single and fits everything tat I look 4 in a gal? I always believe in tis, "Don't shit at where you eat!!" Don't want to change the only place where I can have some peace (provided my boss and seniors don't give me shit) into a place of unpleasant memories if things goes wrong....

Shitty thoughts....Argh

dream....

i not much of a dreamer...at least most of the time i can't remember what i dreamt of...
But last night, i had the longest dream, although i only slept 6 hr but the dream was like the whole day!! i guess time doesn't exist when you are in dreamland....
what did i dreamt about? I dream about her. Yes, someone whom i should be forgetting... But everything is so vivid.

She was wearing the most beautiful white top that i had gotten her... her long flowing hair, which she haven't dyed and permed before. With a short demin skirt...she look prefect!!! You look really beautiful, Darling!! That what i said to her in my dream.
When we were together, i never really commented much on how she looked, how she dresses... she was always beautiful in my eyes. But i guess all women need some kind of assurance, doesn't matter if it necessary or not... wahahahaha

Time spent when we were in each other's arms...just close to each other, flesh to flesh...i could just smell her hair...everything was so clear...it didn't seem like a dream at all...What we chatted about was not important...what matter was we were in each other's company...she would just lie in my arms, although that will make my arm numb, but i didn't mind! IF that's wat she wanted, i will do that for her....I didn't want to wake up....

But....

I asked myself why am i having this dream??? Isn't it all over? Wasn't i supposed to totally forget that she ever existed in my life? The pain that now she's gone kept surfacing to my head. i don't understand why...

Life is starting to get bored i guess....


But why i miss her is not because i'm bored or whatever... I just miss the times we had...
If only....there was a time machine... if only...